Reinforced Steel Magnolias
For further investigation
I don’t know if the root cause was related to any of:
- Mislearning
- Typo
- Cleverness
- AI slop
- Speech recognition snafu
but the phrase “Busch league” has captivated me
We need a new genre of poetry
A la “beat poetry” but let’s call it “dad poetry”
If you’re wondering what that is, look no further than our competitions:
Instead of poetry slams
we’ll have poetry shuts
Obviously, each competition should start with the MC saying “I’d like to open this shut…” Then, to the (even nonexistent) lighting guy: “Hold the light steady”
If you get eliminated or don’t make the next round or whatever you “shut the bed”
They don’t really end, we just shut them down
Naturally, they’ll begin and end at a sensible time. Never during “the game.” Always plenty of parking.
And don’t think for an instant that this isn’t the kind of bullshit I couldn’t be goaded into picking up and launching. This is me, for fist’s sake, and I’m in Austin.
Here’s a thing I said yesterday that amuses me still:
What, is he getting his graduate degree from the Jack Tripper School of Emotional Regulation?
You probably had to be there
The gift that will keep on giving
This morning while chatting on his drive to work, a friend gave me the phrase “functional shui”
This may be the first time my “happy place” is not a metaphor
As you can probably see from the featured image, not a human visible from horizon to horizon. No cell service, either. It took me 10 weeks to prepare enough to try this again, as I worked to eliminate the pain points I identified from my first trip:
- Problem: I forgot to bring a long lighter, and the wind made using a shorter lighter a… non-starter. Solution: the most wind-proof stove with a piezo-electric igniter. Worked perfectly! (Also got the 5-lb propane tank so I don’t have to keep using disposable one-pounders)
- Problem: cheap cooler filled with ice still had ice, but everything had thawed. Solution: dry ice.
- Problem: when packing up to leave, rolling the tent and sleeping bag back into their stuff-sacks was an exhausting pain-in-the-ass. Solution: a few large gym-ball-bags, mesh.









Oh, looks like that panorama above isn’t showing the edges. So, here it is again:

Not in Egypt, but we had just crossed a river
Saturday morning, headed to breakfast. Tooling down the road in the right lane, taking it easy with radar cruise on, passing a bunch of pickups towing empty trailers in the left lane. Grey GMC SUV was obviously getting frustrated and passed one of them using the suicide lane – almost living up to the name while swerving in to my immediate left yet still stuck behind another in the same apparent caravan. Truckavan? Nah. My passenger said “Whoa!” I, while gesturing at the model of Yukon on the side replied: “They think they’re going to get ahead of these trucks before the light, but they’re in Denali.” I apologize, and you’re welcome.
Truckaflatbed? Hell no, that’s worse, almost obscenely specific. What is the collective noun here? A clot sounds aggressively judgy. A queue implies less motion than there was.
It says it’s a pot trellis
but I suspect it’ll work just fine with roma tomatoes too
It’s long past the time
…when we should start referring to the number 10 as “a metric dozen.”
Obviously, that makes 8 a binary dozen, right? Or do we round that one up to 16?
Change my mind…

Now that I think about it
All I want to know today is:
My friends know me well
Perhaps too well
Finally
Finally found the proper neologism for my Hawaiian shirt and cowboy hat style:
Y’alloha

You must be logged in to post a comment.