Now that I think about it
was the qwerty keyboard designed to make typing the word awkward awkward?
All I want to know today is:
was craft services for the film Jaws focused on charcuterie?
My friends know me well
Perhaps too well
Finally
Finally found the proper neologism for my Hawaiian shirt and cowboy hat style:
Y’alloha
Today, I will find joy
…in the fact that the words “sturdy” and “custardy” are antonyms
It must be difficult…
… to cultivate a cult with the culture of the occult
Can we vote on the definition?
Even after voting for a constable today, I still maintain the only proper definition is “a variable that doesn’t ever change”
duorobourous
I am SHOCKED that google returns nothing for this search. Literally unbelievable that in the course of human civilization (yes, yes, such as it is) this word has not been created, to describe two snakes eating each other’s tails, in an infinity symbol.
If anyone wants to make me an animation showing that, I’ll pay for it.
One
Wasted synapses Scratched like a stuck record on Old mendacity
The. Dead. Wait.
One hand clasped futilely to a wrist
As the familiar below fades
Into the icy deep black of aging memory
Let go, turn back from the dark
The journey has only begun, but already
I dream of breaking the surace, breath deep the salt
To watch a decade of fury set behind
The briny waves which push the tears back in as
I continue to exist
This is what I get to do
Edge case
Who sets the boundaries where the land meets the ocean?
Is it the water, saying
Cross this line and you will get wet
Or is it the sand, containing and crying
Higher then this and you’ll evaporate
Becoming part of that cycle
Elementary school science teachers know
You’ve forgotten about
Until reminded
By some stupid poem
Imagine if the sea and the sand decided to part ways
Who would get custody of the tourists
Fascinated, as are we all, by change
There’s no solution where the land would move inland
The water would need to become all cloud and vapor
Calamity we’ve already begun
As economics twists the knife
Already in our own backs
The idea of killing too alluring to ignore
Even if it is ourselves
Investigate the concept of touching
Taken to it’s logical conclusion
Electron shells repelling like charges
And now the air wearies of carrying the burden of the water
Is there gloom if there’s nobody to feel?
Watch as the light from billions of years away
Stops
Captured by your cornea
Isn’t this nice, you say, watching the stars over the waves
But we’re no longer there
As if we never were
The bringing of the time and the taking of the time
Each distant orb a mirror of us all
As we reflect
On how each light will burn out
One by one
As they reflect
The blink of an eye
Trapped between two eternities
Of silence
Today’s million dollar idea:
a machine that induces fake labor so that women who use a surrogate can know the sensation/pain of childbirth. It must be called “the contraction contraption”
And by the government, too!
It’s about fucking time somebody was advised about me
I was today years old…
…when I realized that sip and piss, being opposites for fluid intake and output, are almost palindromes
No need to thank me!
Edit: while swimming laps, my brain informed me that by putting the extra ‘s’ in the middle, it becomes an actual palindrome: “pisssip.”
Okay, NOW you can thank me.
I don’t see pisssip becoming a useful neologism, unless the concept of a “shower beer” expands to include “a can on the can.”
This impossible ear
There’s no Fleishman’s this impossible ear
Gotta bake in the morning to avoid a self-sear
Cooling of the cast iron might just take a year
Hope you like fluffy bread more than fizzy beer
(Apologies to Brendon Urie)