a machine that induces fake labor so that women who use a surrogate can know the sensation/pain of childbirth. It must be called “the contraction contraption”
An unerring beat
Gossamer second hand of
Time chases us all
Each sip another lie to
Hurled into a wood chipper
Oh crap. My laptop
So, first we lost the Titanic there. Then, the Titan went missing.
If past results are any indication, we’ll drop two more letters and the next vessel to disappear will be the Tit?
As I was going to lunch, I stopped by my car in the parking garage. This involves going from floor 2 to floor 5.
As I get in the elevator, there is another gentleman there, with a giant trash can on wheels. Floor six (the top floor) is already lit up, and as I go to push the button for 5, I notice that the trash can is filled with fire extinguishers.
I will omit the needless details of polite elevator chit-chat. I exit on 5 and go to my car.
It only takes a few moments to figure out that he is boringly replacing fire extinguishers, instead of the much more exciting concept of riding the trash can down the parking garage propelled by the extinguishers.
And that is when the disappointment set in. I had even hoped to see him jettison used canisters as ballast on his way down.
Yet again, ransomware attacks are costing money and lives. Hey, microsoft, tell me about your TCO benefits over linux again?
Thank you, John Oliver…
…for redefining the term “shuttlecock”.
The phrase “Wallet Vindaloo” cracks us both up at once.
The saddest place on earth today, is 15.4 miles away from the allegedly happiest place on earth, if you take I-4.
So, apparently Schrodinger’s Cat has become Schoelkopf’s Cats.
Even more apparent? Physicists are generally dog people.
…and I wonder how many folks in downtown Austin are wishing they had a choice of Uber or Lyft, but couldn’t vote because they have a DUI on their record.
And as a followup, why did Uber and Lyft let the “Big Corporations writing our laws” meme stand instead of coming back with a “Big corporations fighting about which corporations get to write our laws” meme? Aside from being a cash cow, how is the medallion scheme any less a bribe?
Meh. Probably time to go to sleep.
Today, instead of going to my in-laws for Easter, and instead of Cy getting his required (and all-too-often-interrupted) Sunday afternoon nap, we went to the finals of the Dell Match Play tournament.
For all that I have given Dell over the years (Cy recently reminded me of a trip to the E.R. while I was working there wherein I couldn’t feel my legs…), from being their first webmaster (remember back when that was a thing in 1994?) to all the jobs since where we’ve purchased exclusively Dell (NetSuite being the singular, notable HP exception), to all our personal laptops (still loving my XPS 13 with infinity display!), today was another example of how we get paid back. (Aside from our cars, our house, and our daughter…)
Nicely wined, nicely dined. My fitbit hit it’s daily goal just as we walked in to the Chalet… then hit double that goal as we trudged back uphill!
Thanks to the in-laws for the faux-uber ride from my office (which you can see just over Cy’s left shoulder) to the game and back, but more importantly, thanks to them for the tupperware of homemade Potato Salad that was waiting for me when I got home!
But more than that – if you’ve actually read this entire diatribe, instead of just clicking “Like” on facebook, please let me know you read the article by copying and pasting the next paragraph/sentence as a comment:
J, you idiot – I bet you didn’t stretch before all that walking.
(Yes, I’m a little sore.)
Twas the night before southby and all through the town
Not a car was stirring, no-one could get around.
Each person alone, and still on their phone
As the mayor said, tomorrow, work from home.
The presidents visit, he said, not his first
Will make tomorrows traffic much closer to worst.