Category: awful

catch up blogging

  1. 15 Things Kurt Vonnegut Said Better Than Anyone Else Ever Has Or Will
  2. Darker Matter – Exclusive Interview with Douglas Adams from 1979
  3. Odds of dying equal one.
  4. 26 Reasons What You Think is Right is Wrong
  5. 100 Words Every High School Graduate Should Know
  6. Why Intelligent People Tend To Be Unhappy
  7. Is America Too Damn Religious?
  8. The Funny Pages :: Misc :: US World
  9. science vs. faith
  10. A celebration of spring turns ugly – The Boston Globe
  11. BreakingNews.ie | World News | Pakistan: 11 dead, 100 injured in kite flying festival
  12. Film’s View of Islam Stirs Anger on Campuses – New York Times
  13. MEMRI TV
  14. An Atheist’s Guide to Mohammedanism
  15. 5 Blogging Methods That Work » Net Business Blog
  16. Letterman’s Top Ten Top Ten Lists
  17. Most Awkward Interviews
  18. ZUG: Comedy Articles: GAY-OK!
  19. Daredevil condemned for escalator stunt | Oddly Enough | Reuters
  20. Keystroke the Carriers | Brand Name Coupons
  21. Who Is Monitoring Your Domain Searches? » Daily Domainer
  22. In the Company of Jerkoffs – 10 Zen Monkeys
  23. SEC Suspends Trade On 35 Companies In Pump-And-Dump Crackdown — Spam — InformationWeek
  24. BSFW: Penis owner’s manual
  25. DNSFW: The jerk at work

Not mine, but I like it…

From Neil Steinberg’s op-ed in the Chicago Sun-Times:

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the interstate. Nothing is moving.

Suddenly a man walks over. The driver rolls down his window and asks: ‘‘What’s going on?’’

‘‘Terrorists down the road have kidnapped George W. Bush and
Dick Cheney. They’re asking for a $100 million ransom. Otherwise
they’re going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire. We’re
going from car to car, taking up a collection.’’

The driver asks, ‘‘How much is everyone giving, on average?’’

‘‘Most people are giving about a gallon.’’

Speaking of roads…

Let’s see if this one pisses anyone else off.

We live less than two blocks from the neighborhood big park. There is still quite a bit of construction going on closer to the river, so there are many large trucks passing by during the day. A few of them are going the speed limit (35 mph). Many are going 5 to 10 miles per hour over the speed limit. Some, I suspect, are going 5 to 10 miles per hour over the speed limit of light.

We rarely take the kids to the park, as it involves crossing Riverplace Blvd. Instead, we put up a “Slow — children at play” sign at the end of the cul-de-sac, and tell the kids to never approach that zone.

Last week, when the weather turned nice for the first time in a few weeks, it was up, the kids were riding trikes and running and having a blast, when a nice fellow pulled in to ask where we got the sign, and to relate this story to us:

They called the Travis County sheriff’s department, and asked how to get a speed bump or speed hump put in. The answer?

“We can’t do that until there has been a death.”

My question is, “Does that death have to be related in some way to an engine, or can we get the brain-dead policy-based decision-makers out here to meet with the neighborhood parents armed with thousands of pounds of diapers, many with the diaper genie still wrapped around them?”

Hopefully I’ll be able to verify this claim at the next homeowners association meeting.

Nature has it’s place

and that place is outside. Seriously, anything with more than three legs had better be pretty damn cute before it thinks about crawling in here.

Why should that matter? I was driving Grace down to Grandma Albertson’s, and that last stretch of MOPAC between 290 and William Cannon is almost complete. It used to be trees, as recently as six months ago. Trees and presumably small furry woodland creatures. And spiders. And snakes, and scorpions, and iguanas, and geckos, and gnats, and mosquitos, and leeches, and ticks, and who knows what else.

Oh, yes. I did claim to have a point, didn’t I?

My point is that all that crap was outside. Where it belonged. Where do you think all those things went to live now?

I’m damn glad I don’t live within a mile radius of that area. I’d have our exterminator on speed-dial.

Oh, and at least the fsck-heads that were appointed changed their minds for the fifth time and decided not to make that little stretch a toll road, ten years after the bonds to pay for it were approved and sold. But wait! There’s time for them to change their minds five or six more times before it opens, and countless times after it opens.

Let’s just rename that little bit of road to “Whimsi-toll Road”, and watch everyone veer around it (unless they’re from out of town, on their first trip to Austin).

It’s not easy to get good debate about the evolution/creation debate

Except perhaps in the interesting people mailing list.

From John S. Quarterman

This isn’t something that many of us particularly want to do; science isn’t about attacking religion; it is about science. However, this isn’t science; it is politics. What creationists believe and teach in their own homes and churches is their affair. But when they interject their dogma into public school systems as fact, they expose it for critical examination, not to mention ridicule.

What is the difference, really?

The Lemon helps us understand the true difference between Democrat and Republican.

I’ve also always been partial to Dave Barry’s take on it (I’m paraphrasing here):

Imagine you get a flat tire one night. The Republican won’t stop, because they don’t want to be late for ugly pants night down at the club. The Democrat will stop, but will accidentally set your car on fire.