Category: awful

Today’s million dollar idea:

a machine that induces fake labor so that women who use a surrogate can know the sensation/pain of childbirth. It must be called “the contraction contraption”

Sub-par humor

So, first we lost the Titanic there. Then, the Titan went missing.

If past results are any indication, we’ll drop two more letters and the next vessel to disappear will be the Tit?

It’s a supluralative

The plural of “you do you” is obviously “y’all do y’all.”

I do not believe further discussion is warranted on the subject.

Except perhaps to add that the plural of “y’all do y’all” is “all y’all do all y’all.”

Can you figure out why I’m disappointed before I tell you?

As I was going to lunch, I stopped by my car in the parking garage. This involves going from floor 2 to floor 5.

As I get in the elevator, there is another gentleman there, with a giant trash can on wheels. Floor six (the top floor) is already lit up, and as I go to push the button for 5, I notice that the trash can is filled with fire extinguishers.

I will omit the needless details of polite elevator chit-chat. I exit on 5 and go to my car.

It only takes a few moments to figure out that he is boringly replacing fire extinguishers, instead of the much more exciting concept of riding the trash can down the parking garage propelled by the extinguishers.

And that is when the disappointment set in. I had even hoped to see him jettison used canisters as ballast on his way down.