Today’s million dollar idea:

a machine that induces fake labor so that women who use a surrogate can know the sensation/pain of childbirth. It must be called “the contraction contraption”

Sub-par humor

So, first we lost the Titanic there. Then, the Titan went missing.

If past results are any indication, we’ll drop two more letters and the next vessel to disappear will be the Tit?

It’s a supluralative

The plural of “you do you” is obviously “y’all do y’all.”

I do not believe further discussion is warranted on the subject.

Except perhaps to add that the plural of “y’all do y’all” is “all y’all do all y’all.”

Can you figure out why I’m disappointed before I tell you?

As I was going to lunch, I stopped by my car in the parking garage. This involves going from floor 2 to floor 5.

As I get in the elevator, there is another gentleman there, with a giant trash can on wheels. Floor six (the top floor) is already lit up, and as I go to push the button for 5, I notice that the trash can is filled with fire extinguishers.

I will omit the needless details of polite elevator chit-chat. I exit on 5 and go to my car.

It only takes a few moments to figure out that he is boringly replacing fire extinguishers, instead of the much more exciting concept of riding the trash can down the parking garage propelled by the extinguishers.

And that is when the disappointment set in. I had even hoped to see him jettison used canisters as ballast on his way down.

I sit here, safe and snug with my family as the storms roll in…

…and I wonder how many folks in downtown Austin are wishing they had a choice of Uber or Lyft, but couldn’t vote because they have a DUI on their record.

And as a followup, why did Uber and Lyft let the “Big Corporations writing our laws” meme stand instead of coming back with a “Big corporations fighting about which corporations get to write our laws” meme? Aside from being a cash cow, how is the medallion scheme any less a bribe?

Meh. Probably time to go to sleep.

Twas the night before southby…

Twas the night before southby
Twas the night before southby

Twas the night before southby and all through the town

Not a car was stirring, no-one could get around.

Each person alone, and still on their phone

As the mayor said, tomorrow, work from home.

The presidents visit, he said, not his first

Will make tomorrows traffic much closer to worst.

That’s what she said.

Last night, we lost a dear friend who brought joy into the life of everyone he met.

For example, from my 30th birthday surprise party:

Robert started the whole "stripping clown" thing
(Robert started the whole “stripping clown” thing)

His daughter and G were the original “Aristocrats” for Wand…

Our original "Aristocrats"
Our original “Aristocrats” – it really is QUITE different!

And he was the first recipient of the revenge surprise party…

Follow the link only if you really want to know what the cake said...
Follow the link only if you really want to know what the cake said…

Wherever Robert went, joy followed. The world is less without him. Fuck cancer.