Why did we go to the mountains for spring break? To let Grace play in the snow!
So, this morning, we joined up with Cy’s sister’s family, and caravanned mostly up the mountain.
Several miles into the 12-mile trip up, Cy started feeling odd. He had just taken his blood pressure medication, so I told him to pull over and let me do the driving. So, off we start again, with me at the wheel. It’s a new car — this is perhaps the fifth time I’ve ever driven it. Well, let’s make sure it’s known that it is a truck. The two-lane road — actually, more like one and a half lanes — has no guardrail. It’s a mountain, so of course the road twists and turns, often sharply. I’m trying to stay as far from the edge as I can, but there is traffic going down.
That’s when I announce, as casually as I can:
I’m having a panic attack.
No, you’re not.
Oh, yeah. Let’s have an argument now! Have you ever tried to shut a stupid fscker up? And no matter how many times I told him to shut up, he just had to have the last word.
Finally, we got to another stopping point. Out we go, and Grace throws some snowballs at Cy while I calm down. We give Cy’s sister, who had stopped to let us catch up, the sleds (prompting the heartbreaking question “Why are you giving aunt Judy my sleds?”) and they continue on their way.
We, meanwhile, let G play for a few moments before we turn around. Let’s face it — we couldn’t go on.
Later that afternoon, Cy went to play golf. I thought it was too cold — and it was, when he started. He played the back nine, but I joined him for the front nine.I started out with 3 balls, marked “Top-Flite 3”. I ended with 3 balls, marked “Top-Flite 3”. I played nine holes without losing a single ball.
And, of course, my revenge is not complete, despite mentioning that Cy lost one on the front nine today…
And, when Judy got back, she told us it was too cold and windy to let the kids play in the snow.Yay! We did the right thing!
So, we went golfing today. Actually, I caught up with Cy on the 10th hole, where we had to play from the red tees, because a wedding was taking place on the gold tee box there. Nice set-up.
Then, we play the back nine, and as we’re driving back to the car from the 18th hole, we pass the bride, waiting in the passenger seat of another golf cart.
In my mind, I immediately saw that the driver was the person who was going to give her away, and he was going to drive her up the aisle in the cart. She would get out, and the rigamarole about “Who gives this woman…” “…I do” would be followed by the protracted beeeeeeeeeeep as he put the cart into reverse and backed up to his seat.
So that makes it 4 years ago yesterday that we made our first visit to the hospital to let them know what was coming, and 4 years ago today that we got caught in traffic on the way back to the hospital for the third time in 24 hours…
So, for weeks, I’ve been leaving divots behind the ball, grounding the club way, way too early.
So today, at the driving range, I finally got the “lead with the wrists” and “hit down on the ball”. These things combine to ensure that you uncock your wrists at the last possible moment, so that the ball gets maximum speed, *and* get the ball lined up after the hips start the rotation away from the backswing.
Combine that with my 6th grip change in 6 weeks (thanks, Ray!), and I think I’ve made the transition from “really, really bad golfer” to “really bad golfer”.
(Another month at the driving range, and I may actually mean that!)
Don’t laugh — it’s as close as I’ll ever get to real exercise.
Why announce it, however? Here’s why: I’ve finally made the transition from “Jerk with clubs in a cart” to “really, really bad golfer”.
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