Category: tweets

Is it too soon to start calling him W-Rod?

Mental note, no more cherry tomatos at Albertson family functions.

Elvis has left the building… onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/gr…

Just missed a head-on collision in the work parking lot with someone going faster than the speed of stupid.

Favorite fake headline of the day: “Brain eating zombies invade Washinton DC…and die of starvation.”

How do you know your golfing partner is a politician? When he gets a hole-in-one, he puts down a zero.

Pop. Six. Squish. Uh-uh. Cicero. Lipshitz.

OK, I’m listening… buzzfeed.com/daves4/reasons…

Were anyone to ask me today the worst part of aging, it would be the profligate greying of nose and ear hair. Go ahead. Ask me.

Late vday dinner w/Cy @ roaring forks dtown. Steve Carrell sits down at the bar next to us.

Watching Reggie Perrin. Favorite line: “A nice little basement flat in Venice?”

Sell all yahoo stock, now… allthingsd.com/20130222/physi…

“Family Values,” my aunt Fannie. My family has values. Compared to these folks, my family has value. FTHRW. thepoliticalcarnival.net/2013/02/23/sta…

I have created the most disturbing hobby yet: World War III re-enactor.